2 days Ago
Humans are social creatures – we live in groups, rely on others to survive and gossip at parties. But socializing can be hard, even for social creatures. Especially the first part: starting a conversation.
"It can feel daunting to go up to a stranger and start a conversation because in some instances, we are not sure how we will be received," says Elaine Swann, a lifestyle and etiquette expert, and founder of the Swann School of Protocol. Will the other person be friendly or standoffish? Will they try to pull you into a multilevel marketing scheme? Will it simply be awkward? If you feel nervous about starting a conversation with a stranger, here are some tips from experts. Don't assume it will be awkward Humans tend to do a bad job of predicting how awkward – or not – a conversation will be.
"We tend to think a conversation might be burdensome, or that it might not be fun, or that it will be hard to extricate ourselves," says Charles Duhigg, author of the book Supercommunicators. "But what we find is that people really enjoy having conversations." Indeed, studies have shown that even small interactions with people around us can make us feel happier and more connected.
Act confident, even if you don't feel it Although chatting with a stranger may make you feel nervous, don't let the other person know that. "There's a difference between appearing confident and being comfortable," says Swann. To appear more confident, Swann suggests maintaining good eye contact.
This doesn't mean staring into the depths of a person's soul – "you can look at someone's forehead, eyebrows, nose or chin," says Swann. Thinking of possible conversation topics beforehand can also help you feel more at ease, says Duhigg. Even if you don't end up talking about any of those topics, knowing you have them in your back pocket might make it easier to have a good conversation because you won't fear getting trapped in an awkward silence.
And don't worry about seeming cool. A casual..
. Madeleine Aggeler.
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