Are we listening?

AS I SEE IT With early voting under-way and Election Day on the horizon, it seems one crucial question is "Who or what are Americans listening to these days?" Since active listening is a lost skill throughout much of the American culture, I have to ask, "How do we regain our lost skill of listening?" Perhaps these three examples can point the way. Too often our daily conversations are just a waiting period before we share our opinion and perspective. We aren't really listening, just pausing until we can exercise our freedom of speech.

This often leads to confusion and embarrassment. Just ask the poor citizens of Springfield, Ohio, how this rush to speak has negatively impacted their lives. Secondly, for many of us, we are caught in the childhood game of Telephone.



This game involves lining up a group of teenagers and whispering a complex message to one of them. They then turn to their left and whisper their version of what they heard. By the time this game reaches the last person, they share what they heard as the message.

It is never the intact message that started the game. How this plays out for most adults is we participate in local gossip about what any candidate said. With no further research, this version of what we heard is then repeated throughout our circle.

If our circle is wide enough, we ultimately come to grips with the realization we have an inaccurate version of what a candidate said at any given time. Finally, a common complaint about participation in the election process is the lack of time to do adequate research on the issues and the candidates to make an informed choice. Fortunately for us here in Oregon, we get a Voters' Pamphlet to the candidates and a summary of their positions.

This resource works only if we actually read it. In the first example, people want to be heard. We expect people to listen to us despite our not truly listening to them.

In the second example, we learn what happens when we listen to only one source. When we hear from just one source, we often mutate what we hear and deliver a distorted message. In the final example, we see what happens when we don't listen to new information.

We tend to jump headfirst into the privilege that is voting without any clear information on the various candidates on our ballot. We become single-issue voters or party loyalists, regardless of the candidate. Perhaps now is the time to slow down, calm down and focus on listening, truly listening to each other and our candidates.

Practice deep listening and processing what we learn before we consider what, if anything, we want to add to the dialogue. Force ourselves to get multiple and different sources of information before boldly going off repeating inaccurate information. Finally, truly listen to new information and resist knee-jerking defiance.

All elections are really about the future of our city, county, state and federal government. I suggest it's time we invest in deep listening to our candidates. Spend at least as much time in research from multiple sources as we spend planning our weekend and holiday activities.

Bob Kerr is a retired faculty/staff member of Oregon State University. He is a published author and an aspiring screenwriter. He has lived in Corvallis since July 2000.

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