1 day Ago
Q.: Well, I’ve been back to school almost a month and it’s not what I hoped middle school would be. I was worried about it all of August and my mom said it’ll be fine.
My gram said I was old enough to just deal with it. My dad said, be a man. I don’t feel like being a man.
We had a lock down and I was scared. I don’t understand math at all. All my buddies from grade school are jocks now and I don’t like sports.
I like games. I even like chess. Am I going to spend the rest of my middle school time miserable? – 12-year-old Q.
I just started middle school. I don’t like it. I feel lost every day.
I’m not with any of my old friends in classes. What can I do to feel like I belong? – 12-year-old Q.: When is school supposed to be fun again? I liked it okay before COVID.
I don’t think I ever got back to liking it since then. Now I’m in middle school and it’s even worse than I thought. How can I get rid of this feeling? – 12-year-old Mary Jo’s Response: It takes courage to admit when things aren’t going well.
I placed your three questions together because they share a common theme – middle school is not what you imagined or hoped. I hear you. Your feelings are valid, which simply means they’re OK.
Feelings are real. All we can do is decide how to react to them. Each of you took the time to write to me, which means each of you took the initiative to share your feelings with the intention of doing something about them.
Good for you. Let’s talk. Feeling uneasy about a new school is normal.
Most people feel it. Middle school is particularly difficult for many students. You’re often with new kids.
You need to adjust to a new school, new teachers, new classes, and a totally new environment. There will be many times in life when you feel out of your comfort zone – this is one of them. Anytime we feel like we don’t belong, the first step to feeling better is to acknowledge those feelings.
The second step is to figure out we are not alone. Share how you feel with family, friends, your guidance counselor at school or a teacher with whom you connect. The third step is to do something about the feelings.
Get involved at school. Join clubs. There are more activities than sports.
Band is a great place to enjoy music and make friends. Theater and debate can help you feel less alone. If you don’t find a club you like, talk with your teachers.
Maybe you could start a club focused on your favorite things. Seek friendships among those who share common interests. Making new friends involves a lot of listening.
Ask people to talk about their likes and dislikes and soon they’ll seek you out. People love a good listener. If you live close to WashPa, I’d like to invite you to the Common Ground Teen Center I run.
It’s at 92 N. Main St. in Washington.
We’re open from 4 to 8 p.m. Monday through Friday.
We have lots of teen-led activities, like DND on Monday, Anime Club and Chess Club on Tuesday, Art Club and Trading Cards Club on Wednesday, Cooking Club and Creative Writing on Thursday, and Video Game Club on Fridays. Every night there are games, movies and snacks. We have free tutoring with one of my Washington & Jefferson students on Thursdays at 5; our tutor even helps with math! It’s a safe, welcoming place for 12- to- 18-year-olds.
Our kickoff is this Thursday, Sept. 19, from 6 to 8 p.m.
New teens will be there. I hire teens to staff the center, so if you get involved, you could apply at 16 to run the place! I’ll meet you there on Thursday. Good luck with school and continue sharing your feelings.
You’re not alone. It gets better. Honest.
Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email [email protected].
.
