2 weeks Ago
Along with a personal chef and interior decorator, I have made it this far (65 years) without a life coach. But I understand they can make one’s life much more productive and peaceful. Here then are some generic, classic and, I might add, “creative” coaching recommendations gleaned from my own readings and reflections.
True, I might not be on Oprah or Ellen, but I do have a long running radio program and a fairly successful consulting business, plus I do love to tell people what to do. Go ahead and brew a cup of hot green tea (every coach loves the cup of tea for your brain) and consider these life coaching recommendations that might do in a pinch. 1.
Seek Balance: Every coach worth his or her salt and crystal ball understands the importance of Balance. It is so critical that I summarized the key Balance Boundaries in the sidebar. 2.
You cannot please everyone: Don’t even try. Life coaches are all about recognizing that you cannot make everybody happy and doing so will only make you crazy. 3.
Practice self-care: Some life coaches specialize in self -care, so it must matter a lot. This means taking care of your sleep, diet and exercise routinely and establishing habits and practices that allow you to maintain wellness. If you need to say “no” to a request because it would mean missing your twice weekly yoga class and that yoga class is what keeps you from pain and grumpiness, then say no or else ask the well — meaning friend to join you at the yoga class.
If you are going to give of yourself, you must give back to yourself. 4. Ask good questions: Life coaches are all about questions.
Here are some essential life coaching questions that I like to apply, especially when I’m feeling overwhelmed: • Will this matter in a month, one year or one decade? • Who is this for? • If this kind, fair or helpful? • Am I trying to impress or press on to a goal? 5. Learn how to accept feedback: Any decent life coach will spend a lot of time and your money on the whole feedback loop. Remember, criticism is not feedback.
If someone is critical (i.e. mean-spirited), he or she has another agenda.
But good feedback in the form of specific guidelines and recommendations are valuable. 6. Work on your listening skills, particularly active listening: A reliable life coach will probably start with your listening skills, after doing some kind of lengthy assessment.
Being a good listener; giving others your full attention and responding with affirmation and genuine interest is a gift to both parties. For me, this is the toughest thing. I have so much to say .
.. surely everyone wants to hear it.
Maybe not. 7. Stop and re-evaluate: Life coaches embrace the “pause and refresh” break and so should we.
Some popular coaching strategies include: • Periodically reviewing goals • Considering the “big picture” in one’s life to assess shifts and changes • Examining one’s satisfaction and status. We change. What seemed good and right at age 35 might not hold true at age 65.
8. Small changes can bring big results: I think I would trust a coach who encouraged more modest, precise changes rather than tossing out everything and everyone I had worked to grow and nurture. I’m working on modest change right now, my over-reliance on the tiny but dangerous phone.
I’ll keep you posted. 9. Trust yourself: No coach can fix you nor anyone else.
The answers are in there, perhaps muddled and messy, but they are in there. Your life is worth taking the time to tease them out and use them for good. 10.
Attitude is everything: In fact, if I choose to shift careers to become a life coach instead of a professor who write stories and also talks on the radio, I would actually name myself as an “Attitude Adjustment Expert”. You see, there is a cognitive science term called “negative forecasting” and it holds us back. It is only supposed to keep us from taking unnecessary risks, but sometimes it blocks our creativity and forward motion.
When we anticipate a negative result from every choice, our brains can get stuck. We get stuck in unhappy emotional loops and this attitude stymies healthy relationships. Optimists live longer and are more successful.
That’s just science. Think of it like the Mediterranean Diet for your emotions. Adding olive oil and a little red wine makes your heart more healthy.
Adding a dose of optimism may make your brain more healthy. Just think about it..
