35 Signs He's Absolutely 'The One' for You, According to Relationship Experts

These are the green flags you'll want to look out for.

featured-image

When you first meet someone, it may be easy to tell if they'd be fun to date : they're charming, adventurous and kind. But even though you may have strong feelings for them, that doesn't necessarily mean they're "the one" you should spend the rest of your life with. Figuring that out is a bit trickier and not something you'll always know right away.

In fact, it may take months or years of going through different scenarios in your relationship for you to realize if he's the person you should marry or not. So, what are the signs he's "the one" ? Along the way, you should keep an eye out for signs that your relationship is heading in the right direction. This will help you determine if he's the perfect man for you.



And while everyone has their own checklist of what they want in a husband, there are several traits and characteristics that almost everyone can agree make a man great husband material. To help you pinpoint what common signs you should look out for, we spoke with three different relationship experts: Alicia Muñoz , author of No More Fighting , A Year of Us and The Couples Quiz Book , Monica Berg , author of Rethink Love and Alyssa Dineen , author of The Art of Online Dating . Use this list of 35 signs to see what traits these experts said are important to have in a husband.

If your man checks these boxes (or most of them), you'll be glad to know you have a keeper on your hands, and saying "I do" may be just around the corner. Related: What Are the '36 Questions to Fall in Love' and Do They Actually Work? Relationship Psychologists Weigh In 35 Signs That Prove He's "The One" iStock 1. He's Kind This one may seem like a no-brainer, but if you find a guy who is generally sweet, don't take that for granted.

Kindness is an amazing quality in a partner and future spouse. In fact, Berg tells us in the long haul, kindness may turn out to be one of the characteristics you appreciate the most in someone you marry. After all, when you go through tough times, their kindness will see you through.

Related: 4 Healthy Expectations To Have in Your Relationship, According to a Psychologist 2. He's Not Afraid To Say He's Sorry If your man is someone who always circles back and apologizes after you two have a fight, it's a good sign, says Muñoz. "When someone does this, it shows that they're self-reflective, curious and willing to take responsibility for their own missteps," she explains.

Doing this is a key sign that he's ready for a long-term relationship. 3. You Love Him for What's on the Inside Have you ever heard the saying "It's what's on the inside that counts"? Well, it's true.

If you find yourself attracted to someone because of the way they act and carry themselves instead of just their looks, it's a good sign. "What's important is that you share a compatible spirituality and moral code and place value on the same things in life because this ensures that you can grow together and navigate together through life's inevitable challenges," says Berg. 4.

You Feel Really Good About Yourself When You're Around Him You don't want to be with someone you can't be yourself around—that would be exhausting. Berg says you want to be able to show your future husband all of your sides: the good, the bad and the messy. Otherwise, he'll never know the real you.

5. He Supports Your Dreams Finding someone who is your biggest cheerleader is a major plus. You want your forever partner to be someone who roots for you, appreciates you and supports all of your dreams, even if that means he has to make a sacrifice or two.

Related: How Soon Is Too Soon To Propose? 25 Signs You're Ready iStock 6. He Wants To Spend Time With You When someone cares for you, they will move mountains to be with you. From bringing you coffee in the morning so you can both have a quick moment before you head to work together to texting you sweet messages in the middle of the day, nothing will stop a man who is in love from finding ways to show you he cares about you.

If your partner takes time out of his busy schedule to do any of those things, it means you're a priority to him. 7. He Tells You Everything If your man is someone who shares secrets with you and opens up to you when he's feeling sad or having a hard day at work, that lets you know that he feels safe with you.

He has no walls up and wants you to know everything about him, which makes him a great husband-to-be. 8. You Are Friends First Being friends with your partner before you start dating can provide so many benefits.

It helps you have a strong foundation that will come in handy over the years. "Friendship fuels the flame of love because it offers the best protection against feeling adversarial toward your spouse despite inevitable disagreements," Berg tells Parade . 9.

Conversation Flows Naturally When you're with your soul mate, you'll feel like you've known them forever. From your first date onward, your conversations with them will never seem awkward. You'll just get each other and be able to talk about anything and everything.

10. He's All About Compromising Muñoz says finding a partner who is willing to compromise when you disagree on something is crucial. A guy who does that realizes the importance of being flexible and making decisions together.

Related: Time To Reconnect! 25 Relationship Check-In Questions for You and Your Partner iStock 11. He Makes You Laugh Having a sense of humor in your relationship is super important. "This can really make or break a relationship—especially if you can laugh at yourselves," Dineen reveals.

12. You Have Fun Together Being with someone who helps you let loose and embrace your inner child every now and then is essential for having a lasting relationship. "Happy relationships rely far more on how much fun you have as a couple rather than successful conflict resolution," Berg tells Parade .

Related: 11 Small Things That Happy, Healthy Couples Always Do, According to a Therapist 13. Things Aren't Complicated When you're with the right person, things won't be challenging. Your life will just feel better with them in it, and you won't be able to imagine life without them by your side.

There will be a peace you feel when you're together that will make you feel at ease. 14. He Remembers Things Having a partner who pays attention to the little things means he really cares.

"If you are often surprised by questions he asks you that indicate he was listening to something important you told him a week or two ago, he's a keeper," says Muñoz. It lets you know that he cares about things you care about. 15.

You Both Put Effort Into the Relationship There's nothing worse than being in a one-sided relationship where you feel like the other person doesn't care as much about it as you do. So if your partner is just as invested as you are in him and he constantly puts effort into making your relationship the best it can be, take that as a sign that he'll do the same when it comes to marriage. Related: Best Pick Up Lines iStock 16.

You Fight—but Healthily Being in a relationship with someone who isn't afraid to argue with you is actually a good thing. Berg says that in her experience, couples fall into two categories: those who feel passionately enough about their relationship to argue and those who don't because they have given up or given in. So being with someone who fights with you every now and then so you guys can resolve a conflict shows they want to continue working on your relationship and make it stronger.

Related: 13 Phrases You Should Use During a Fight If You Have a Different Attachment Style Than Your Partner 17. He Talks About the Future With You When you meet the person you're supposed to be with, talking about your future together won't scare him off. It'll actually excite him.

He'll be able to daydream about your future plans with you, and he'll even take steps in his professional life to make sure he's working hard so that he can provide for you in the future. 18. He Won't Judge You No matter what you're going through, the right person won't judge you.

You'll feel comfortable opening up to him about embarrassing moments or times when you weren't proud of yourself. He also won't criticize you for it. He'll be there for you and do anything he can to help you in those situations.

19. He Offers To Do Small Errands or Tasks for You "This one may seem silly, but sometimes it's the smallest thing like randomly offering to grab you a coffee, picking up a prescription or dry cleaning, or doing a household chore that is typically 'yours' every once in a while, is a great sign," Dineen shares. Why? It shows you that he's willing to go out of his way to give you a helping hand.

20. You Won't Question His Feelings If the guy you're dating makes you constantly wonder if he likes you or not, he's not the right guy for you. Your perfect person will lay his heart on the line and won't hold his feelings from you.

He'll tell you he loves you verbally and through his actions. Related: Get Ready to Swoon! These 50 Romantic Love Song Lyrics Will Give You All the Feels Photo by erikreis from Getty Images/Canva 21. You Trust Him In a loving partnership, you'll both trust each other completely.

You won't have any doubts about each other because he won't give you any reason to. "When someone says they'll do something and then does it, you'll know you've met someone you can rely on," Muñoz reveals. 22.

He Respects Your Friends and Family A guy who sees a future with you will value things in your life that are important to you, like your friends and family. If he loves you, he'll love them too. Related: 75 Cute Nicknames for Your Boyfriend 23.

He Speaks Well of You The way someone speaks about you to others is important. "When you're out with friends or in groups, having a partner who goes out of their way to say nice things about you, even if you were just arguing in the car before you got there, says a lot about them," Dineen tells Parade . This shows that he never wants to make you look bad and that he respects you.

24. He's a Gentleman A man who is husband material will show you that he's a gentleman. He'll open doors for you, offer to carry your bag, surprise you with flowers, walk you to your door on dates and do other little things that show you he cares for you and wants to make you feel special.

25. He'll Want To Know Everything About You From your first date together to a date night years into your relationship, a guy who you should say "I do" to will always want to learn more about you. He'll never run out of questions to ask you and always asks about your day.

He'll want to be the person in your life who knows the most about you, and he'll show you that he wants to grow with you. "Partners see themselves and the relationship as undergoing constant evolution and are conscious about choosing how that evolution unfolds rather than passively letting it happen," Berg shares. Related: 16 Things People With High Emotional Intelligence Often Say, According to Psychologists iStock 26.

He Doesn't Always Tell You What You Want To Hear "When someone is willing to share opinions or preferences contrary to ours, it means they're not putting on a show, being compliant or conflict-avoidant," Muñoz explains. That's why having a partner who isn't a people pleaser is a good thing because you know he's mature enough to tell you when you're wrong or tell you when he disagrees with you. Related: 50 Relationship Goals That'll Help You Grow Closer As a Couple 27.

He Stands up for You A man you feel safe around and always has your back is a guy you'll want to marry one day. He'll be someone who will feel like he has to protect you and he'll always stand up for you. 28.

He Shows You His Vulnerable Side If your partner has cried in front of you and shown you their vulnerable side, that's a sign that they trust you on a deeper level and feel safe with you. Finding someone who is willing to open up to you in ways that he can't with others shows that you're incredibly special to him and share a bond that nobody else does with him. 29.

He Doesn't Try To Change You Your future spouse shouldn't try to mold you into someone else. Muñoz wants you to know that a man who is right for you will see you "as you are" rather than trying to fit you into the box of who he wants you to be. 30.

He'll Drop Everything To Be With You If you need something or are in a bind, a man who has husband vibes will make sure he's there with you. He'll drop whatever it is that he's doing to be by your side in a time of need. That'll show you that you can depend on him when times get tough.

Related: How To Show Your Partner You're Grateful for Them, Using Their Preferred Love Language iStock 31. He's Not Perfect Nobody is perfect, but when you're dating someone who can own up to their flaws, that shows they have incredible maturity and strength. "If you've met someone who can take responsibility for their human failings, flaws and imperfections without getting chronically defensive or collapsing into self-criticism, you've met a keeper," Muñoz points out.

Related: 5 Phrases a Relationship Therapist Is Begging Couples To Stop Using ASAP 32. He'll Want To Strengthen Your Connection Muñoz says the ability—and desire—to stay connected is critical in a long-lasting relationship, but because they take work, not everyone puts in the effort. A man who nourishes your connection by doing things, like squeezing your hand or sending a good morning or goodnight text is a partner who won't give up on your relationship.

33. He's Willing To Talk Through Conflicts Being with a partner who can talk through misunderstandings is crucial. "Someone who is able to circle back after a sticky or confusing moment and transparently share what was happening on a deeper level is someone who will help your relationship flourish in the long run," explains Muñoz.

Related: What Is Love? 5 Signs You Love Someone 34. You Bring Out the Best in Each Other Couples who belong together want to be their best selves for their partner and vice versa. When they are together, they shine their brightest.

35. You Don't Need Each Other The best relationships are those where you don't need each other to make yourselves happy. Instead, you choose to be with each other.

"When you both know who you are, what you want and what makes you happy, it shows that you and your partner are your own person," Berg reveals. This takes pressure away from the other person, as they don't have to "complete you." Instead, you can complement each other.

Up Next: Related: 25 Green Flags in a Relationship That Point to a Healthy Partnership Sources.